Thinking of college...

As of right now I have no idea where I want to attend college. It's starting to get brought up a lot even though I am only a junior. For the past two years I have had it set that I want to become a Pediatric Nurse and eventually a Pediatrician. However, working in a preschool classroom is making me second guess what I want to do. Being around the kids in my classroom makes me so happy and makes me question if I'd rather be a early childhood teacher. The preschool teacher and her aide always tell me how great of a job I do with the children and how good I am with them and it honestly makes me feel really good about myself. But is that what I would like to do with the rest of my life? I dont know. As of now, I'm leaning more towards pediatric nursing so I'll keep looking into that more. As for where I want to do. I have no idea. I never wanted to go far away from Paris, but lately it seems perfect to get away from here. However, if I leave Paris or this area, I leave more than just the town. I leave my dad, some friends, possibly my boyfriend, and many memories. It's a hard decision. So, I guess I need to start seriously thinking about this. I mean, it is my future.

Venting..

Why do I constantly let myself be wrong, when I know I’m right. I tend to let you walk all over me at times and I dont know how to control it. Why do I do this? Maybe, its because I’m terrified of losing you. That’s also probably why I let myself deal with all these people who think way less of me. I deal with the names, comments, things that hurt everyday. Why? Because of you. I don’t do anything about it because I hope that one day you’ll stand up for me. I hope that you love me enough to realize how hurt I really am. It’s starting to get to me. I’m looked down upon by most of the people who surround you and I’m starting to think you look down on me too. I dont know what I ever did to cause this, but I dont want this. I need you to hold my hand, stand up for me, realize how your being unfair to me, and show me you love me like you say you do.

My Weekend (:

Saturday night I went to a concert in Indy. It was four of my favorite bands and a band I had never heard of. When we first arrived at the Emerson Theator we parked across the street at a McDonalds. We got out of the car and one of the bands (Attack Attack!) was leaving the resturaunt. I was starstruck and just stared at them. We then waited in line for two hours, but at least we were at the front of the line. We were in the very front of the room, touching the stage and unfortunatly, right next to the speaker. The first two bands; Bury Tomorrow and Asking Alexandria, are both from Europe. They did an amazing job at getting the crowd excited. The next three bands; i see stars, Breathe Carolina, and Attack Attack! were amazing!! I'm so happy I went. During the concert, I got slammed up against the speaker, hit, and kicked in the head. All on accident so I dont really mind. I now have a huge bruise on my arm though. After the concert I met Caleb Shomo and Johnny Franck from Attack Attack! I was sooooo excited! :) After the concert, we went to steak and shake and ate. Then we drove home. I finally got home at 3 A.M. but it was soo worth it!