Anger Towards School

I am so ready for summer. I am sick of school and everything that comes along with school. I barely ever have homework and because its the end of the year I have TONS of homework. I have two presentations this week and one next week! I havent been this stressed out in a long time. It makes me want to take all easy classes next year. Which I probably will now because I'm sick of all this homework. When assigning things, I really dont think teachers take into account everything else we need to do. Or maybe they just dont care? Whatever. I'm done with this school year. Hello summer :)

Mayfete.

A lot of things come with Mayfete such as; drama, fighting, immaturity. That is why I do not participate in it. I did participate my freshman year but I'm also not much of a dancer so I had chosen not to do it my sophomore and junior year. However, I did go see it on Friday and I would like to congratulate all the girls AND guys who danced for our senior girls. The girls all looked so wonderful and the dancers were very good! I am very impressed that the underclass girls could put moves to the songs they were given. In my opinion the chosen songs for this years mayfete were a bit on the slower side. Howver, everything turned out great. I was amazed by Zach Batson's dancing as well as Cody Waggoner's drumming skills! It was a wonderful time! And the best part of all was spending the whole time sitting next to my bestfriend (Mrs. Kash). :) It is a very good thing that she left before the father-daughter song, however, because I broke down bawling and laughing at myself because I was crying. lol Anyways, good job Mayfete girls!

My Weekend

So this past weekend was really fun. Friday I didn't have school because of the ACT, so I ran around town getting last minute things for prom. Then that night, I spent the night with Jerica and Serena at Jerica's house. I ended up staying up until 2 in the morning. Then I woke up Saturday morning around 8 and started my day. My friends and I got all ready and we all looked wonderful. Prom was a lot of fun despite having troubles finding the building. Justin and I decided that going to after prom would be a bad idea since we were getting up at 5 in the morning to be ready to leave Paris at 6 for Holiday World. I ended up going to bed Saturday night at around 2 in the morning. Holiday World was fun on Sunday. I'm not a fan of rollercoasters but what I rode was fun. On the way back, the GPS kept taking us to a rode that didn't exist so it ended up taking us about 4 hours to get back to town. Then when we got back,Justin and I hung out for a little bit and then he went home. After that, I put pictures online. I didn't go to bed until past 11 Sunday night. So now, it is Monday and I am at school with basically no sleep rambling about my weekend. Hopefully this makes since. :)

fuahsifhnav

So, I have come to realize that when I am in a bad mood.. I stay in a bad mood. One person could set me off and I will be mad the rest of the day. It's annoying I guess. Right now, for example, I am in a terrible mood and have been all day. Nothing has made it any better. Each and every person I've talked to today has said or done something to annoy me in some way. I do not know what to do to make myself be in a better mood. Uhg, maybe I'm just stressed out? I dont know, I do have a lab report due tomorrow. That's stressful. I am more than ready for summer to be here. I wont have to be around things that stress me out; homework, teachers, certain people, and drama. I dont really know what else to say...

Disappointment...

It's always nice to feel important. It's always nice to feel needed. But mostly it's nice to feel loved. It's a good feeling to know that someone needs you or actually wants to be around you. However, lately I have been feeling useless. I have felt like none of my friends care wether they spend time with me or anything. It's really been bothering me but I guess I have been holding it in. I do not want to seem selfish but I feel so unimportant to everyone. It sucks when I am extremely excited to see someone and very ready to hang out with them and they are just not that excited about it and would rather be home doing nothing. It hurts I guess. Now, my birthday is in a couple days and yet again...I dont even feel important or like it should even be celebrated. Having this additude makes me feel soo selfish but I mean it's one day of the year that you can actually say is yours and when it doesn't even matter, it sucks. I dont even care what I get for my birthday, all that matters to me is being with the people I love the most. However, I'll be spending it with only one of my friends (not that she isn't enough) and that is it. It's dissapointing I guess but I'll just see how it goes...

राम्ब्लिंग अबाउट सोमेथिंग ठाट मक़स में मद

Something that really bothers me about certain people is their lack of open-mindedness. If you're not exactly like the next person then people will make fun of you. They will talk about you. They will put you down. It's terrible. What is so wrong with being different? Why do people have to either be a hick or jock in this town to be "cool"? It really makes me mad. I am not saying that every hick or jock in this town is a jerk but a few of them are. I know because I'm around one of them frequently. He never has anything good to say about anyone who isn't like him. If you wear different shoes, clothes, or listen to different music then your gay? It's so idiotic. Also, people think if you listen to "screamo" music or rock bands then your automatically an emo/gothic kid? No! That's far from true. It's okay to be different. We all have different personalities and we are all our own person. People can like multiple things. A person who listen to screamo can be an amazing athlete. There's no need for stereotypes and judging. If we were all the same, then no one would be remembered.


*For some reason my title keeps changing to a different language, and I dont know how to fix it. lol.

Thinking of college...

As of right now I have no idea where I want to attend college. It's starting to get brought up a lot even though I am only a junior. For the past two years I have had it set that I want to become a Pediatric Nurse and eventually a Pediatrician. However, working in a preschool classroom is making me second guess what I want to do. Being around the kids in my classroom makes me so happy and makes me question if I'd rather be a early childhood teacher. The preschool teacher and her aide always tell me how great of a job I do with the children and how good I am with them and it honestly makes me feel really good about myself. But is that what I would like to do with the rest of my life? I dont know. As of now, I'm leaning more towards pediatric nursing so I'll keep looking into that more. As for where I want to do. I have no idea. I never wanted to go far away from Paris, but lately it seems perfect to get away from here. However, if I leave Paris or this area, I leave more than just the town. I leave my dad, some friends, possibly my boyfriend, and many memories. It's a hard decision. So, I guess I need to start seriously thinking about this. I mean, it is my future.

Venting..

Why do I constantly let myself be wrong, when I know I’m right. I tend to let you walk all over me at times and I dont know how to control it. Why do I do this? Maybe, its because I’m terrified of losing you. That’s also probably why I let myself deal with all these people who think way less of me. I deal with the names, comments, things that hurt everyday. Why? Because of you. I don’t do anything about it because I hope that one day you’ll stand up for me. I hope that you love me enough to realize how hurt I really am. It’s starting to get to me. I’m looked down upon by most of the people who surround you and I’m starting to think you look down on me too. I dont know what I ever did to cause this, but I dont want this. I need you to hold my hand, stand up for me, realize how your being unfair to me, and show me you love me like you say you do.

My Weekend (:

Saturday night I went to a concert in Indy. It was four of my favorite bands and a band I had never heard of. When we first arrived at the Emerson Theator we parked across the street at a McDonalds. We got out of the car and one of the bands (Attack Attack!) was leaving the resturaunt. I was starstruck and just stared at them. We then waited in line for two hours, but at least we were at the front of the line. We were in the very front of the room, touching the stage and unfortunatly, right next to the speaker. The first two bands; Bury Tomorrow and Asking Alexandria, are both from Europe. They did an amazing job at getting the crowd excited. The next three bands; i see stars, Breathe Carolina, and Attack Attack! were amazing!! I'm so happy I went. During the concert, I got slammed up against the speaker, hit, and kicked in the head. All on accident so I dont really mind. I now have a huge bruise on my arm though. After the concert I met Caleb Shomo and Johnny Franck from Attack Attack! I was sooooo excited! :) After the concert, we went to steak and shake and ate. Then we drove home. I finally got home at 3 A.M. but it was soo worth it!

Venting.

I know I’m not perfect, and I know I’ve made mistakes but why do you treat me this way? I’ve never done anything to you and you didn’t even know of my existance until I started dating one of your friends. I just dont understand what I did for you to hate me. The things you say about me aren’t even true. I wish, before you said stuff, you would at least find out the truth. I’m sorry that now all of a sudden one of your friends wants to spend time with me, and sometimes not you. I truly am. However, Im not really the one to blame. I love him. A lot. He’s changed me. He’s made me realize a lot about myself and I am willing to do anything for him. He’s my everything and he accepts me for who I really am. We make each other laugh constantly and I’d say we have the most amazing relationship. I wish you would just see that. Please, learn the real me. Accept me. And let US be happy. I need him…

Rambling.

My weekend was pretty good. On Friday night I hung out with my friends. Saturday was the day of Winter Carnival. I spent most of the day at Jerica's house with her and Serena. We basically lazed around and watched tv all day. It was relaxing. Then at 4 I finally got ready for Winter Carnival and went on my way. We went to the mall in Terre Haute to eat and hang out before the dance. Every single person in the mall stared and whispered "Why are they so dressed up?". Personally, I was frustrated. Obviously, we are about to go somewhere that requires us to be dressed up!! Then we went to the dance and had a lot of fun. I thought it was weird how they played ZERO slow songs but whatever. Sunday was Valentines Day and I spent most of the day with Justin and Dillon. Wooo. =/ haha. Monday, I didn't do anything but sleep and hang out at home. Now, its Wednesday and I'm sick. :( Great.

Bad/Good choice.

In the middle of October I moved to Clinton, Illinois. Which is about a two hour drive from here. I went to school there for about three weeks before I moved back to Paris. The school was absolutley horrible. There was no school spirit, no friendly people, and the way they did things were not normal to me. I dreaded going to school everyday and probably missed more than I went. I was raised in Paris so it was the first time I've ever really moved to a new place. It was hard and looking back, now, I dont understand why I wanted to move. It made me realize how amazing my school actually is. I drove back here every single weekend to see my friends. I ended up missing Paris a lot more than I thought I would. Now, I'm back at home.

Since then my life has changed a lot. I was basically reunited with a bestfriend from when I was little. I gained a new person in my life that makes me very happy. Also, a few of my friends have made changes in their lifestyles. Im really not that happy about their changes but I guess I should deal with it because its not my choice or life to decide. Even though a lot has changed, I feel like I was never gone. I guess the saying "You never know what you got till its gone" is true. However, I could easily move back. But somethings, you cant get back so be careful with your decisions in life.

French

Soo, today I went to Mayo to talk to kids about French. I realized for one that people are really immature in junior high. Also, they are sooo rude. I wanted to slap a couple of them in the face. I didnt go there to listen to them make comments about how stupid our presentation was. I went there to convince them to take French. That is all. On top of it all, the power point we had to show was soo stupid. The very first slide said "French is hot!". It was so weird and very corny but I admire Mrs. Witmer for trying. Speaking of French, I need to do my homework. So Im going to quit writing this and do something else. Bye. :p

Back To Being A 4 Year Old

Things are so much different when you are a small kid. The most you have to worry about is the next boo boo you might get or if your having macaroni for lunch. When I was little all I wanted to do was grow up. I wanted to do things like go to high school and drive a car. Now that I am in high school and old enough to drive all I want to do is "grow down". Life is so much better as a kid. Your imagination takes over your life. As you get older, your imagination slowly fades. It's depressing. And if you do act like a little kid now, people look at you like you're an idiot. Personally I think thats dumb. I would rather act like a 4 year old than a 45 year old. It's way more fun to be little and silly :)

"Lifes journey is easier when you hear a friend's footsteps beside you"

It's weird how throughout your life you gain and lose many friends. At one point in time a person is always by your side and you think they are never going to leave you. However, now as a Junior in high school, I'm looking back and realizing who actually stuck with me and who left me. I had a friend that I went to preschool with, and who I hung out with everyday as a kid. Now, she is completly focused on other things. She is a completly different person. She left. I have another friend whom I met in 2nd grade. She has always been there for me. And she is probably the best friend I will ever have. She stayed by my side. I recently have gained many amazing friends that I'm hoping always stay by my side. Because I never want any of them to leave. I hope in 10 years or so I can look back and say that each and everyone of them stayed by my side(:

:)

Hi. wooooooo. Drew is awesomeness, woooooo!!